


Remus Lupin: After Death

by fuckingbrianaman



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Deathfic, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Spiritual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 15:58:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckingbrianaman/pseuds/fuckingbrianaman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is when he realizes he has literally died and gone to heaven, because: A) Sirius Black is dead, and B) Sirius Black is beaming at him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remus Lupin: After Death

Remus Lupin has never felt this comfortable before. He is fairly sure that he is lying on grass, and that the grass is under the sun, but that can’t be possible, because just moments ago Dolohov’s wand had been pointed at him and there had been screaming all around, with shouts and curses flying through the air. But his senses cannot be denied, and – unless he has gone mad – he feels grass underneath him, and sun on his face.

He opens his eyes and sits up, mostly because these seem like the wisest choices. In looking around he finds that, yes, he was correct in his assumptions. He is in a clearing so massive that he can only barely see the beginnings of the innards of the forest that surround the outermost lip. The light that fills the air comes from a set point, but he has the feeling that, if he were to decide it unnecessary, the point would disappear and instead the light would come from nowhere. His next discovery is that he is very near a small group of people who are all looking at him expectantly.

This is when he realizes he has literally died and gone to heaven, because: A) Sirius Black is dead, and B) Sirius Black is beaming at him. For a moment Remus can’t breathe because all of the air is sucked out of his lungs. Sirius looks whole in a way he hasn’t in years. His face is still sharp, but in the chiseled way it had been back in their seventh year at Hogwarts, as opposed to the horrible, shallow, sunken-ness that Azkaban had left him with. His hair is shiny again, and he is younger, as well. In Death he is in the prime of his Life. Remus thinks he has never looked more beautiful.

Sirius is nervous, despite his smile. He is wringing his hands in a way that Remus recognizes all too well. Remus doesn’t understand for a minute. What’s there to be nervous about in heaven? But then, in his peripherals, he sees a shock of pink, brighter than it had ever been on Earth.

Tonks is dead.

Tonks is here.

Tonks is looking at him like she is expecting him to say something.

Remus tries to bide some time and continues examining at all of the faces that surround him. Ted is standing next to his daughter, except now he looks to be about the same age as her. The scar he used to have on his chin is absent. Remus sees Alastor Moody, but he has both of his eyes, legs, and nostrils. The difference is startling. There is Fred Weasley, looking exactly the same as he did the last time Remus saw him, except cleaner, and – if it is possible to age in Death – older. James is there, too, with his arm wrapped around Lily’s waist. Lily, in turn, is leaning into him. They are both grinning sadly. A familiar snowy owl is sitting on James’ shoulder.

Looking back at Sirius, Remus lets himself speak.

“I’m dead.”

He realizes that his statement wasn’t up to his usual insightful logic, but he can’t take it back, nor does he care to. He _is_ dead, after all.

“Yeah –” begins Sirius, but Tonks cuts him off.

“I know! It’s so sad, isn’t it? I mean, poor Teddy, and then Harry’ll miss you, and then there’s Neville, because he really liked you, you know, but now –”

“Hush, Dora, can’t you see the man needs to think?”

Remus feels a rush of gratitude for Ted, and decides to stand, possibly to hug him (he isn’t sure).

He is lighter than he remembers being. He almost seems to float as he rises, as if he isn’t fighting the normal amount of gravity. This gets him wondering about where Death (the place) is located, and whether or not it deals with things like laws and physics, but Remus makes the mistake of meeting Sirius’ eyes, and all thought shrinks down into a small note card in the back of his brain that reads: _Him_.

Remus wants so badly to simply toss the rest to hell and run to Sirius, but he knows that he can’t. He has a wife, and – despite his entirely unquenched love for her cousin – he has to explain to her. He never wanted her to die, and he never wanted her to get hurt. She knew from the onset, though, that his heart could never be fully in their relationship, and yet she loved him anyways. Remus knows that he isn’t an easy man to love. (Sirius used to tell him this daily.)

So he turns his eyes to Tonks and tries to voice everything he wants to say in as few words as possible. “I’m sorry,” he says. “You shouldn’t have died for me. Teddy is going to want a mother, and, because of my stupidity, he won’t know his. You.”

She nods vigorously, something that would have annoyed him, had he been alive. But he isn’t, so he tries to continue. “Tonks, I… Dora…”

She cuts him off, still smiling. Remus knows she knows. “We should probably talk about this alone, yeah?”

Remus agrees, and they leave the group, drifting. They are out of earshot within seconds, having already reached the edge of the forest. Remus admires the strange new physical rules that now apply to him, but he isn’t distracted from what he has to say.

“Wotcher,” greats Tonks belatedly.

“Dora,” he repeats, facing her. “Our vows were ‘till Death do us part.’ We’re there. Here. I told you…”

“I know. You never made those silly promises with Sirius. You want to end ‘us’ to be with him.”

“There was never a set ultimatum for Sirius and me. I love him, Tonks, and you have to understand.” Remus’ words are pleading, but his voice is calm. Tonks is putting up no resistance, nor is she crying or throwing a fit, and Remus is only saying these things because he has to. She gets it, and she says so. He loves her for that.

“Now go to him, you daft werewolf.”

Remus grins. “Not anymore,” he says, and he turns, leaving her standing there. He can feel her acceptance. Then it hits him: ‘Not anymore.’ He is finally a human once again. He sees eternity ahead of him, and it’s filled with Sirius and being human, and he has never been happier.

Sirius’ eyes find his face, and Remus knows he knows. He can see what Remus sees, and the beauty of it is too much. Once again, Time blinks and they are together, and Remus doesn’t ask how it’s possible, but instead embraces the man he has loved for so long. Remus doesn’t care that he is dead, because it’s all better this way. Teddy has been left behind to live and he will marry Bill’s daughter Victorie. He’ll have Harry and Andromeda to teach him everything he will need to know about Life, and he’ll grow up better than Remus ever could have hoped.

Sirius kisses Remus, who stops thinking about his son, or his mother-in-law, or The Boy Who Lived, and instead concentrates on absolutely nothing at all except for the taste of those wonderful lips and the feel of that perfect mouth. It’s only a chaste peck, but it feels so _right_. When Sirius pulls away, he is beaming again.

“I guess this means I can’t call you Moony anymore, huh?” he says.

“You can call me whatever you want, so long as there isn’t a ‘goodbye’ attached to the end of it,” says Remus, smiling.

“Get a room, you two,” says James with his signature devil-may-care grin.

“Don’t be so insensitive,” scolds Lily, elbowing her husband in the ribs. “You practically mauled me when I got here, and we were only separated for a few minutes!”

They are the only four in the clearing, Remus sees. Everyone else has left, probably returning to their quarters. The knowledge that each person has an individual location to occupy in Death comes to him without being called upon, and he accepts it without question. But there are a few things he has to ask.

“Where is Dumbledore?”

Sirius’ arm is around his waist, mirroring James and Lily’s position. He is the one to answer. “Didn’t you see him when you died? Moody, Fred and Tonks all said they met with him for a little bit at the In Between.”

“Why’s he there?”

“He’s waiting to explain things to Harry,” says James. “Who, if I’m not mistaken, will be calling us back shortly.”

“Wait, what?”

“Think about it, Lupin,” says Lily. Excluding teachers and the people he met in his adult life, she is the only person who has ever called him that continuously. “You’ll get it.”

So he does. He lets his mind relax, and it immediately broadens, opening up to let in much information he didn’t have previously. The experience, although odd, is very enlightening. “Oh,” he says. He pauses. “Dumbledore was kind of manipulative, wasn’t he?”

Sirius laughs. “Yeah, but it’s going to work. Harry’ll win.”

Now Remus doesn’t need to ask his second question: He knows where Peter is. He’s in one of the In Betweens as well, but not one that will ever look like a train station. Remus knows now that Peter has a debt to pay, and he won’t be showing up here until it’s taken care of. Remus decides he can wait.

Quite unexpectedly there is a tugging at his navel, not unlike the feeling a Portkey produces. He finds his extremities dissolving, and the feel of Sirius’ arm around his waist fades. “Ah,” says James. “There he is.” And the clearing fades to nothing.

_Harry’s eyes are closed. Remus feels heavier, but not quite solid. He knows where he is, and he knows that physics are very confused with him right now. The thought pulls the corners of his mouth up drastically. Sirius, James and Lily are all here as well. Harry’s eyes open and he takes them in with awe. Lily is the first to speak._

_“You’ve been so brave,” she says, stepping forward. Her smile is so large that Remus wonders how her face can hold it. Remus wonders what it is like to see your son, fully grown, walking to his death._

_“You are nearly there,” adds James. “Very close. We are…” He pauses and Remus can feel him trying not to cry. “So proud of you.” He decides it must be awful._

_Finally Harry opens his mouth, but his eyes hold the same look of amazement. “Does it hurt?”_

_“Dying?” says Sirius. Remus knows he is trying desperately to let Harry be with his parents, and is holding back. He misses Harry so much. “Not at all. Quicker and easier than falling asleep.”_

_Remus lets himself talk. “And he will want it to be quick. He wants it over.”_

_“I didn’t want you to die,” says Harry, the words sloppily tumbling from his lips, guilt whispering for him. “Any of you.” His eyes lock on Remus’. “I’m sorry… Right after you’d had your son… Remus, I’m sorry –”_

_Remus thinks that’s quite enough of that, and cuts him off. “I’m sorry too. Sorry I will never know him…” This time it’s his turn to swallow back the lump in his throat. “But he will know why I died and I hope he will understand. I was trying to make a world in which he could live a happier life.”_

_Harry’s hair is lifted in a breeze Remus can’t feel. For a moment he looks through them, into the trees. “You’ll stay with me?” he asks._

_“Until the very end,” says James. Remus can see one tear on his cheek, slipped from his iron determination._

_“They won’t be able to see you?”_

_“We are a part of you,” says Sirius. “Invisible to anyone else.”_

_He and Harry share a look and Remus doesn’t let himself feel jealous, and the latter’s eyes are drawn to his mother._

_“Stay close to me,” he whispers to her. He begins walking._

_Remus lets his gaze stray to Sirius, who is also holding back tears. Together with Lily and James, they follow the boy whom each of them contributed in raising as he marches solemnly to his Death._

When Remus returns, it is not the clearing that surrounds him. In its place is a familiar flat. It looks about the same as about a thousand other flats in Britain, except for the harsh slashes in the walls. Remus remembers their origins, and immediately looks around for their creator. James and Lily have disappeared, but Sirius is sitting on the counter in the kitchen. Remus goes to him.

“Here? Really?”

Sirius pouts. “I loved this place, Moony!”

“We only lived here for a few months,” says Remus.

A devilish grin crops up onto Sirius’ face. “But we sure as hell left our mark.”

He is referring to the gashes that decorate the living room, each one caused by their rough and impromptu bouts of shagging. Remus suppresses a shiver. Now is not the time. Sirius feels his arousal in the air, though, and attacks his weakness. Remus curses the flows of knowledge and feeling that come with Death, but not for long. He has always been unable to protest or think negative thoughts about anything whenever Sirius’ teeth are at his neck, and now is no exception.

Somehow Sirius’ legs have become wrapped around his waist, but Remus figures he probably did that himself.

Soon he can’t stand it, and yanks Sirius’ face up to his by his hair and kisses him deeply, tossing all reserve to the wind. He hasn’t felt Sirius move with him in almost eighteen years, and his body is screaming at him to remedy this. He gives in.

Completely pulling Sirius off the counter while simultaneously deciding that the bedroom is too terribly far, Remus carries him to the table, which is shoved into a corner they often used to call a nook. There is no tablecloth, but Remus knows Sirius won’t wait for him to go dig one up; he is much too impatient.

They skip foreplay, silently agreeing on their inability to last that long.

Despite the fact that Remus no longer has a sleeping monster curled in his chest, he is surprisingly forceful and dominating. In Life he was only this way when it was close to the full moon and his dams and levees broke, but now that he’s dead it seems that holding back is the exact opposite of what his libido wants. And Merlin, Sirius is so beautiful, and Remus doesn’t want to fight it.

When he comes he is buried deep inside Sirius, and the table is about four thrusts away from giving out. Sirius shouts and arches up, climaxing with him, and Remus bites down on his exposed throat to keep from letting loose the string of curse words he feels the need to expel. After, they simply lie together and pant. One of Remus’ hands strokes Sirius’ hips. Sirius’ face is buried in Remus’ shoulder. They fit together perfectly.

“D’you think we should’ve told Harry about his son?” asks Sirius out of the blue.

“What about him?” replies Remus.

“Think about it for a bit.”

Remus doesn’t want to, because he knows it will ruin the afterglow, but he does anyway, and once again becomes privy to information he previously had no access to, images of Harry’s three future children flooding his mind.

He sees James Sirius, the oldest, holding the hand of a Muggle woman named Eloise. Her hair is short and curly and brown, and her nose quite small. Remus knows James will meet her on a vacation to Canada, and that they will get married after three years of dating. He will find her calling him ‘Jamie’ endearing instead of obnoxious, and will retaliate with the nickname ‘Elli.’ Her parents will not approve.

Lily Luna, the youngest and the only girl, will get married at an early age – right out of Hogwarts. It won’t matter, though, because she will be wedding Lysander Scamander, thus making the original Luna an official member of the family. Ginny will be thrilled, as will Harry.

Remus’ mind settles on the last of the three Potter children, and this image is the hardest to conjure. A vague silhouette of Albus Severus and… _Someone else_ eventually forms, but it takes longer for the view to clear than it did with the other two. Finally Remus sees it: Al tenderly holding a short, thin, blonde _male_ who will go by the name Scor, because he will think the full version almost as horrid as Albus’.

Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy.

Remus’ jaw metaphorically hits the floor, but he is grinning nevertheless. The idea of a Potter and a Malfoy together is too ludicrous not to, but he knows they will be in love. They won’t listen to their parent’s warnings and threats, and they will buy a flat together. Harry won’t learn about their relationship being more than platonic until a Christmas party goes wrong and results in him walking in on the two, drunk out of their minds and snogging heartily in the loo.

“Oh, no,” says Remus in response to Sirius’ earlier question. “Most definitely not. Harry’s face will be priceless when he finds his son groping Malfoy on a toilet seat. It’s best that we didn’t deny him that pleasure.”

Sirius simply laughs and kisses him.

Fin.


End file.
